"I -" Susan hesitates, thinking for a moment. "I miss my family, like the parts of my heart dedicated to them have been scooped from my body and now it struggles to beat," she admits. "I loved Narnia, too, completely and totally. When I was a child." A pause. "I wrote it off when Aslan told me I could never return." She gestures, in a way that communicates her impatience with her own thorough repression of its reality, then shakes her head. "I liked my life in London before they died. I was completely lost after - I still am - but I liked my friends and my classes and my flat and the fact that I had a job." She catches her lower lip between her teeth and chews, absently, still thinking through the question. "We never left bodies behind before, when we traveled. I think. If the price of going back is dying, I don't want that. If I could go again, for just a week or a year or five years, I don't know if I'd want that, either." She tries for a smile, and fails. "I've heard it said that it's better to have had, and lost1, but I've tried that and I'm not ready to repeat the experience anytime soon. There's little of my heart left to spare. I believe I would have preferred to stay in London."
Or would she? Would she have remembered Narnia, if she had stayed? Would she have ever learned that her siblings went back? She frowns, still puzzling.
1Susan's typist did NOT anticipate that they would be quoting so much damned Tennyson when they took her on...
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2023-11-25 06:40 pm (UTC)Or would she? Would she have remembered Narnia, if she had stayed? Would she have ever learned that her siblings went back? She frowns, still puzzling.
1Susan's typist did NOT anticipate that they would be quoting so much damned Tennyson when they took her on...